Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Warlick/ Cultivation Nation/ Compost Mentis

I have been growing a beard for the last two months and have tried to secure my status as a warlock. You know the type: dudes who go around in matrix style long leather jackets, wear chunky heeled boots or trainers and go to Games Workshop. I don't go GW, I used to though. Could use some of their strategies on tackling my precocious garden!

Anyway Warlocks are the flavour of the day. Warlick applies only to Alice/Weasel as everything we say to her involves the substitution or addition of the letter 'I'. Thus: Milk becomes Milik, Wolf becomes Wolif, Cakeatonne becomes Cakeatin (I made that one up just now). She was with us in the garden the other day, on a royal parade in her pram. Every inch the Warlick! Check out that hoodie!

Order of the day was filling the cultivation stations with soil from a massive WICKES bag. The desire to write WINKS bag there was molten. Parsley was rigging and a pigging with a huge length of hosepipe that ran from under the solardome, it was skillfully threaded behind many a tree and bush to lead to the rear of the house. This will supply water for the stations in the hot season.

I filled both stations with a mix of the soil and compost. Now I have seen the compost bins hidden away and have been intrigued to see how well they have worked. Turns out, very well! Cakeatonne had been having a bit of a joust prior to my attack. There was a large space at the bottom, with a huge amount of rotting food paper etc at the top. There was only one thing for it. Parsley suggested I use a large piece of timber to bash it all down, so we could get the good stuff as it fell down. I was given the chance to do my best Gandalf impression as I repeatedly slammed down the timber 'You shall not paaaaasssss!' Parsley was having a proper laugh. So was I until I got blasted in the face by a wave of STINK. 'C'wor this fucking stinks!' That got more laughs. After a bit more pounding and a grounding, Parsley handed me an aerator. Magic things these. I was stabbing the magic rotting matter like a crazed warlock. Down came the compost and out it went in the trug to be put in the cultivation stations. Proper nice little soil and compost blend.

C'wor what a stink!

In other news we were feeding the chickens slugs and moth pupae. These (the pupae) are gruesome looking things. A kind of dark crimson bullet, you can see the wings tucked in. Apparently the tail rotates slowly when you pick it up! I didn't have time to notice as I tossed them to the appreciative chucks.

It was a good few days work and my pythons were humming like pylons by the end. First time I've broken a real sweat this year methinks. Can't be getting lazy!

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